What’s “Beyond Your ‘Window of Tolerance’”
As my mental faculties continue to regenerate, I continue to allow awareness of concepts that I have not been able to visit before. I just read an article about Trauma and how we dissociate – are unable to know, understand or even examine some areas of our lives because the stress would be too great. I understand this – it took 18 months after this blog title came to me, before I could write the first post. I simply did not want to bring into conscious awareness what happens to the brain when the head is hit repeatedly.
I can now see that my hyper-alert state is a learned reaction to having repeated trauma: I wanted to duck, the next time something was thrown at me. But my accidents were never the same – so my organism went into the “always alert” state. That’s really not healthy. Fortunately, meditation heals so many things, and I only startle at sharp noises now.
From the medical research: when one has a “serious” concussion, one may never regain some functions. I rate the concussions I have had on a scale of 1 – 10 and don’t count them unless they were a 5 or greater. There are 10 that I recall in this category. Reading some of the medical articles, I infer that I have experienced miraculous recoveries. Reading what “usually occurs” after head trauma still triggers survival fears in me.
I remember having an image after #9 in 2015, of being pushed in an adult stroller and the body in the stroller was clearly brain-damaged. I have always been able to recover, whether it took me months or three years after the auto accident in 1971; or five years and still recovering from sleep apnea that nearly destroyed my memory and learning. Yet my memory functions continue to surprise me…and my gratitude deepens. I have trained myself to learn new skills, too.
Meditation and walking – those two disciplines are total GOLD. You can read up on walking.